Baby Won’t Let Me Sit Down – 5 Effective Strategies for Calm and Comfort

Have you ever felt like your baby is a drill sergeant, commanding you to keep moving all the time? It can be exhausting when your baby seems to cry every time you sit down, making you feel like you can never relax. You’re not alone in this, and many parents have experienced the same frustration.

But why does your baby cry when you try to sit down with them? Is there a logical explanation for this behavior? The good news is, there is. Understanding why your baby acts this way can help you manage the situation better.

In this article, we explore the reasons why baby won’t let me sit down and provide proven tips to help you handle the situation. Whether you’re a new parent or have been around the block a few times, this article will provide valuable insights to help you on baby won’t let me sit down and your baby find some peace and relaxation.

Why Baby Won’t Let Me Sit Down?

According to studies, there are two perceptions of your baby won’t let me sit down. Either our baby is feeling unsafe or the fear of being unsafe has something to do with their body physiology.

1. About your baby feeling unsafe

A lot of studies have been able to trace this back to the early ages when man was still in the forest with other wild animals. Scientists proposed that the law of survival is an instinct that babies get immediately after they are born.

How would you feel if you were in the bush and scared of a jaguar tearing you up? Run or be filled with terror? Your baby’s flight or fight response chooses flight as they cannot move on their own, they rely on their caregiver to do the running.

Nevertheless, your baby has only one form of communication; crying. Crying is a way they can voice out discomfort, displeasure or fear.

While you and I are living in the 21st century, your baby’s mind is still in the 1st century, sharing the bush with wild cats. It is only wise to move to avoid being attacked.

To escape a wild cat, they have to move. A man standing has more ease of taking flight compared to someone sitting.

Scientists describe this as babies’ perception of their environment. This perception brings the recognition of danger making them vulnerable if they are not moving or ready to move.

In some babies, standing alone is not enough; you have to pace around the house. 

The bottom line is, your baby might be crying when you sit down because they feel unsafe. The reason they are bound to keep quiet while you are on the move is to not attract whatever it is you are running from. It could also be that they are quiet because they feel safer now. 

This sounds like it was made up right? You have how your baby responds to you sitting and when you move. Does this add up?

2. Concerning their health and physiology

According to a current Biology study some years ago, a group of researchers studied the heart rates of 12 children concerning how they feel in certain situations. This is to test their level of calmness or peace and where they feel the most peace.

The study tested the level of calmness in babies;

• While their parents were sitting

• While they were left in a crib

• While the parents stood up and carried them

The result of the study showed that newborns’ heart rates were considerably lower, making them calm down when their parents stood and held them.

Further studies have been able to confirm that babies stop crying when picked up. These researches showed that infants are more relaxed behaviorally and physically during carrying.

5 Tips That Work When Baby Won’t Let Me Sit Down

1. Make them sleep on the side or stomach: 

Studies from experts have revealed that when infants sleep on their stomachs, they sleep longer, and are less sensitive to noise. Moreover, holding newborns in this kind of position initiates a soothing process to calm their nervous systems.

Therefore, let your baby lie on their stomach or side, across your shoulder, or over your forearm with one hand supporting the child’s head.

There is one major drawback to this intervention. Studies have shown that putting your baby to sleep in this position (sleeping on the stomach) raises the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

So, stay alert that once they are calm and fall asleep, it is time to lay them on their backs again. You should only make them lie on their stomach for a short period so they can calm down.

2. Make a “shush” sound: 

While your baby is inside of you, they are exposed to sounds, the sounds of movement in your body as well as the ones moving out of your body. You may not know that your baby hears many different sounds growing in the womb.

For example, they hear the noise of the digestive system, the sound when the blood circulation system works, the rhythm of your in-and-out breathing, and the constant outside hum. They can hear them and their sound makes them feel safe.

Making a “shush” sound can imitate these sounds your baby is used to. This has the potential to relax your baby and make them calm.

To use this “shush” method effectively, ensure you:

• Do not turn your volume down. It is because your infant will quickly soothe if you make the “shush” sound loud and for a long time. The sound of your shush should be as loud as your baby’s cry.  You should only bring down your voice when they are starting to reduce their cry.

• Let the mouth be close to the infant’s ear to make the sound enter immediately. This is to make sure that your “shush” is louder than their crying.

3. Swing them 

Some babies are not able to identify whether the caregiver is moving or not. A change in their movement is all that matters to feel safe.

Hence, if baby won’t let me sit down, swinging them might come in very handy and save you. For an effective swinging process ensure you;

4. Use a fast pace if the baby is crying 

If they are feeling endangered or scared about baby won’t let me sit down, swinging at a fast pace imitates running. You are setting up the illusion that you have obeyed the flight response and you are on the run. It gives them peace knowing that they are finally away from danger.

5. Reduce the pace as they try to calm down 

You do not need to keep running. They do not want you to keep running. They want you to show them that they are not static and susceptible to attack.

So, if baby won’t let me sit down and once you see they are getting calm, slightly reduce your swinging pace. This sends a message that danger is now far away and you are trying to settle down in a safe space.

Additional Tips

1. While swinging might appear safe, never shake your baby 

They are fragile. Shaking them can break their bones or damage their brain.

2. Check for possible needs 

One thing you should have been used to by now is your baby’s crying. It is the ultimate call for help. 

So, do not stress over the fact that they are crying while you stand. It might be a coincidence. Their needs might be beyond feeling safe. You can;

3. Check their diaper

The problem is not always safety if baby won’t let me sit down. It might be an irritation as a result of a soaked diaper. Babies, like you, want comfort. Check for their diapers and change them if you need to.

4. Check for hunger 

Baby won’t let me sit down because of food is normal. Hunger brings about pain even in adults. It brings about discomfort. Check and make sure it is not hunger. If it is hunger, feed them. 

5. Check for pain: 

It is hard to tell how much pain they feel or where it is they feel them. Examine their body to check for bruises or rashes. 

6. Check for heat

Like every other form of discomfort, your baby might be feeling the heat. If they are in a swaddle, check that the swaddle material is not too tight or too thick. 

7. Call for help

Being a new parent does not necessarily have to be a burden on you. Some people have passed this phase before you. There will be more after you. The experience gained is useful for new parents. 

Feel free to consult older moms regarding what they had done when they were entangled in this kind of situation.

In addition, if you do not feel comfortable with asking just anyone, reach out to your doctor. Your doctor helps you rule out an underlying medical condition that you might not have noticed or could not have noticed. Put your pediatrician on speed dial.

Why Does My Baby Fuss More Around Me Than Her Dad

As a mom, you would think your baby should feel more at ease with you than her dad because you tend to spend more time with her. However, it has shown to be the opposite.

My baby becomes fussy when I carry her and I wonder if my husband has some secrets he is not exposing to me. He would always feel like a Superman. Here is why:

Babies respond to the level of care they can get. They understand that there is only a little a dad or anyone else can give. Mom, on the other hand, can provide almost anything they need.

It makes sense that it’s easier to cry to someone who would always provide what you need than to cry in front of someone who cannot do the same. 

So, the “silly” reason your baby tends to be fussier around you is that they know you can provide for them and give them whatever they want. 

This theory is only valid when you consider that your baby only gets this fussy when you carry them.

Why Does My Baby Only Want Me To Hold Her?

In simple words, familiarity.

It is pretty amazing how a baby’s instinct is to escape danger and be safe. This is an adult’s instinct so how is it that babies can perceive or feel danger when they have no clear reason for danger?

Nevertheless, we know for sure that they feel these two extremes; safety and danger. 

Babies’ safety is characterized by what they are used to. What they feel cannot harm them. It is strong between the mother and the child; the smell, the sound, and the sight. All these are quite familiar to the baby and bring safety assurance. When they are not with their moms, they are thrown into those instincts of feeling endangered once again.

Another possible reason could be that they know only the mom can provide for their needs.

Why Do Babies Like Being Held?

This has the same answer as “Why baby won’t let me sit down”. According to the authors of a 2013 study, “The infant calming response to maternal carrying is a coordinated set of central, motor, and cardiac regulations.”

This study showed that babies naturally feel calm and safe the instant they are being held by a caregiver. This is because that act augments their likelihood of survival.

Final Thoughts

If you’re feeling like your baby is intentionally making it difficult for you to rest, try to remember that their crying is a way of communicating their needs and feelings. Babies cry when they’re uncomfortable or scared, and they rely on their caregivers to provide them with comfort and safety.

While there are various reasons why your baby might cry excessively, such as hunger, fever, discomfort from wet diapers or lack of sleep, research has shown that feeling unsafe is often a common trigger. In such cases, it’s important to create a safe and secure environment for your baby.

If your baby is still crying despite ensuring that all their needs are met, you can try some proven tips to soothe them, such as swinging them, patting them gently, shushing them, or holding them against your shoulder.

As a new mother, it’s also important to not feel alone and isolated. Reach out to friends, family, or other parents for support and advice. If you’re still struggling, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor or pediatrician for further guidance. Remember, you’re not alone and there are many resources available to help you.